Foreign ads celebs don't want you to see

(Credit: HOLLYWOOD PICTURES/SUMMIT ENT/THE KOBAL COLLECTION)

The only thing that celebrities love more than the sound of their own voice? Easy money. So shooting a commercial that takes a few hours to film and can bring in six or seven figure paychecks seems like a great way to supplement their seven or eight figure day jobs. But since celebrities don't want to be considered sellouts, they'll often film these commercials overseas, hoping that no one in North America will ever see them.

Now, thanks to the mystic wonders of YouTube, we can see all our favorite stars' ads in all their embarrassing glory. Here are some of our all-time faves.


Arnold Schwarzenegger
Sure, today we know him as Governor Arnold, but we've also seen "Pumping Iron" muscleman Arnold, "Conan" action hero Arnold and even "Junior" comedic Arnold. But never in our lives have we ever seen "Super Happy Fun Time Arnold" like we do in this ad for a Japanese drink that puts the Governator on a whole new plane of language barriers in which we assume that not even the Japanese understand what he's saying.

Nicolas Cage
This ad for Sankyo Pachinko machines—Japanese gaming/gambling devices—is probably not Nicholas Cage's worst performance (ever seen "Captain Corelli's Madolin"?). However, this commercial does put up a good fight for the title. Cage acts like a cowboy, wearing clothes no self-respecting cowboy would ever wear, unless he was traveling back from 1955 in a DeLorean. Cage hums Beethoven's 5th out of synch and is soon surrounded by grey aliens with pinballs for heads and hands. An impromptu dance sequence followed by some head-butting and the worst is over.

John Travolta
We've got to hand it to John Travolta—the man could dance! And his dancing isn't overly silly in these ads from the '80s for "Tokyo Drink." It just happens that everyone around Travolta seems to have come from the World's Tackiest Backup Dancers agency.There's head-bobbing rock girls popping out of TVs followed by white haired fembots in sunglasses doing the robot. It's a wonder JT was able to survive another decade of stuff like this before "Pulp Fiction" came his way...

Meg Ryan
Sometime in 1995, presumably between filming romcoms "I.Q." and "French Kiss," Meg Ryan filmed this car commercial. The ad starts out rather innocently and seems mostly normal. That is, until Meg utters one of the silliest phrases of all time. "Navi Navi Dingo" never caught on, and we think that's a damn shame!

Keanu Reeves
Keanu Reeves' acting career can be divided into two phases: the "Dude" era which includes his portrayal of Bill (or was he Ted?) in "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure," and the "Woooah!" era of the "Matrix" movies and beyond. Based on the hair we're going to go with this ad belonging to the "Dude" era. What could be the start of a horror movie takes a turn for the weird when Keanu's cat turns into a woman. And when your cat turns into a lingerie-clad woman, it's either time to stop drinking or time to start.

Ben Stiller
In this ad for Kirin, there are some things that make sense... at first. There are cheerleaders, which makes sense because Stiller is on a football field. But ten seconds in all reason and logic is gone when Ben throws up a lemon which splits in two, evaporates into water and then freezes Ben, who then catches a football. The oddest thing however is nine seconds after Ben's opened up the can. The cheerleaders are all looking down at an angle and gasping. We have to ask, what in the world are they looking at?!

Hulk Hogan
The Hulkster is great at doing four things: Calling people "dude," calling people "Hulk/Gladiator-a-maniacs," ripping off his shirt... and calling people "dude." Singing the days of the week like it's a demented children's song? Not so great. The biggest insult to Hogan, however, is done by the ad executives. How can you have a wacky Japanese commercial featuring Hulk Hogan and NOT have him rip off a shirt while yelling out the name of the product? That's just crazy!

Brad Pitt
Before he was one half of Brangelina (the "Bra" part) and even before he was Mr. Aniston, Brad Pitt made this commercial for the Honda Integra. While most car commercials (even Meg Ryan's above) show the star actually driving the vehicle in question, this one mostly shows the car as an iron-on decal on Pitt's shirt. Unable to cruise across a scenic highway, plain ol' Brad is left to make faces and show off his shirt to an unimpressed ice cream-eatin' kid.

Mariah Carey
You know, if you've got someone who is best known as a singer and not as an actor (*cough* "Glitter" *cough*), you would think a little singing would be in order. Instead, Mariah goes through the motions of playing several games, with her only vocal outburst being a high pitched "Woo!" each time she wins. She also drinks coffee from a can when no self respecting diva should ever be seen with a drink that costs less than $20 an ounce...

Britney Spears
Congrats, Britney! Your commercial for G G Tea is no longer your most embarrassing moment! (Not by a long shot.) The silly dress and dance moves from the '50s and '60s are pretty tame in comparison to the events of the past few years. Heck, back then Brit could still dance without freebasing Red Bulls.

Leonardo DiCaprio
Despite this ad being 14 years old, it has all the trappings of a modern viral video. Shaky, hand-held camera work, kissy faces directed at the camera and an unexpected appearance by a famous movie star. But Leo's only phrase—"It's a miracle!"—is a far cry from his most famous "I'm king of the world!" We also have to say that that was the strangest rendition of "You Are My Sunshine" we've ever heard...

Bruce Willis
This ad seemingly has a lot going for it. It's not about a car or a soft drink (we think it's about a credit card), and whereas the other ads got weird at about the 16 second mark, this ad is only 15 seconds long. But as a man known to condense killing five bad guys into three seconds, Mr. Willis is a master of efficiency. In mere seconds, Bruce blasts hundreds of phones away with a glowing gun that looks a lot like a gas station nozzle. But instead of his usual "Yippy Ka-Yay…" however, he goes for "Move You"... and then goes to sleep.