TV Gossiper

(Credit: HBO/Jaimie Trueblood)

Ellen Degeneres may have no background in music, but we suspect she'll be playing the fiddle while the "American Idol" empire burns around her. Since it's still impossible to process the news of her replacing Paula as the fourth judge, please enjoy these five entirely unrelated bits of TV news instead.

5. Newsflash: Everyone Still Loving Vampires
"True Blood" may have just left the tube for a sucky nine or so months, but sweet vampire love triangles can be found elsewhere. The less bloody/pornographic/good "Vampire Diaries" premiered to bonkers ratings this week—at least by CW standards. The first episode landed the network its highest debut ever with more than 4.8 million viewers. The Kevin Williamson-helmed, "Twilight"-esque tale of supernatural high school love can expect a full season pickup any second now.

4. America Forced to Import "Talent"
"America's Got Talent" may still thrive in the ratings department—with a special thanks to the fact that it's late summer—but the folks they showcase haven't really grabbed the nation's attention. (Ventriloquists and juggling not doing it for you?) So for the show's big finale, they'll be bring over the breakout phenomenon from the British incarnation, Susan Boyle. Despite appearing on Oprah earlier this year, this will be Boyle's first performance on American soil.

3. Things That Make You Go Hmm...
In case you didn't know, former Bush frontman and current Gwen Stefani baby daddy Gavin Rossdale is something of an actor. And his latest gig will be a slightly unexpected turn as a possible serial killer in the upcoming season of CBS's "Criminal Minds." CBS hasn't announced if Rossdale's character will appear in more than one episode, but the ‘90s nostalgist in us is pulling for a season-long arc.

2. "True Blood" Preacher's Wife Is "Office" Bound
One of the breakout performances from the second season of "True Blood"—which saw the introduction of quite a few new characters—most definitely came from Anna Camp, the sexually frustrated and amply hairsprayed reverend's wife, Sarah Newlin. Her arc may not have lasted long, but fans of Camp won't have to wait to see her again. The actress nabbed the choice role of Pam's sister Penny for the upcoming wedding episode of "The Office," which is set to air October 8 on NBC.

1. Mending Maura Bows Out of "Parenthood"
Breast cancer treatments for beloved TV alum Maura Tierney are taking longer than expected, and last week the actress announced she'd be leaving the upcoming NBC series "Parenthood." The remake was already pushed back to mid-season after the actress revealed that she was suffering from breast cancer back in June. No news if this will push back the series' launch any further or who will be taking over Maura’s lead role of Sarah Braverman. We'd be lying if we said we were half as excited to watch the show without her. Get better soon, Maura!